The Truth Between Us
by Evilmini86
Summary: -Ch4 is up- Utena's feelings are trapped deep inside of her. Anthy hides everything away in her heart. Will they ever find the truth between them and rise towards eternity? R&R!
1. Tell Me, What is Eternity

"Show me. Where is eternity..."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
It was eight o'clock at night and she sat there on the floor eating chips and giggling endlessly at the Home Shopper's Channel. She rolled up the now empty bag of chips and handed it to Chu Chu who was crying due to the end of chip eating time.  
  
"Chu Chu, could you through that away for me? Oh, please, will you. I'll make you a sweet dessert tomorrow night before bed."  
  
"CHUUUUU!!!" he sounded before scurrying off with the trash. Himemiya turned and giggled at him, she noticed me standing there watching her.  
  
"Oh, Miss Utena. You startled me."  
  
"I'm sorry Anthy. I was just...I blanked out, you know."  
  
"Oh, yes, Miss Utena. That can happen a lot. Are you tired? You should change into your pajamas" she rushed to the closest and pulled out a pair of pajamas for me. They were light blue and long like boys' pajamas. She smiled at me, with her nightgown and hair up in her nightcap; her glasses still neatly on her face. Dark smooth, skin reaching from head to toe. Big, sea green eyes pouring deeply into my soul, every time she looked at me.  
  
"Himemiya, I...um..."  
  
"Yes, Miss Utena."  
  
"I...thank you for getting out my pajamas. I'll be back in a second" I stomped off to the bathroom, absorbed by my anger. How stupid could I be? Did she love me? I couldn't even be sure if she really wants to be my bride. She seems like it, but when she was engaged to him...to Touga, she just agreed to everything he said. Was she the same with me?  
  
Once I finished changing, I walked out of the bathroom.  
  
"Oh, Miss Utena! Would you like to see?"  
  
"What? See what Anthy?"  
  
She pulled off her nightcap and hundreds of deep violet locks toppled from her head. They slid down her back like waterfalls of rose scented hair. Oh, Anthy! What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms right now. Your beautiful hair laid neatly across the bed...  
  
"I just remembered that you've never had the chance to see my hair down yet. The new curling iron they were selling on the television reminded me about it and...oh, I'm sorry Miss Utena. I'm babbling."  
  
"Oh, no! No. It's okay. I love the sound of your voice. It..." I clasped my hands over my mouth. What had I said?! Would she figure it out? Treat me like just another admirer? Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt? At least I wouldn't have to live like this any longer.  
  
"It...it's just that it seemed very unusual for you to do something like that, yeah. You know" I stuttered. Sweat began to develop upon my brow and my nerves were kicking up.  
  
"Miss Utena?"  
  
"Yes, Anthy."  
  
"Is there something wrong? You seem a little funny tonight" she walked over to the television and turned it off. She then sat down on the floor next to our little table and patted the space next to her. I followed and sat down.  
  
"Utena, do you really think that?"  
  
"Think what?"  
  
"That my voice is that nice."  
  
"Oh, um, yes. Yes, I do."  
  
"Really? Thank you Utena."  
  
"You dropped the Miss."  
  
"You are an observant one, Utena" she smiled and knelt her head on my shoulder.  
  
"You seem to be acting quite funny too."  
  
"I was watching a very interesting program a few days ago while you were already asleep. It said to break away from the ordinary when the ordinary seems to lose its...what's the word...ordinary-ness?" she giggled, "And you were acting quite funny, Miss Utena, sorry, Utena, so I thought I'd try it."  
  
"Oh. Well, Anthy. There's something that's been on my mind for quite some time now" I turned my head quickly hoping that she wouldn't catch my words. My hand lay limp on the floor, and Anthy took it in hers'.  
  
"It's about...well, I...I...just can't say it."  
  
"May I guess?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"Okay, but you have to tell me if I'm right."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Is it about Chu Chu?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I put him to bed already. Um, is it about the Rose Seal?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Is it about a thing or a one?"  
  
"A thing or a one?"  
  
"Something or someone."  
  
"Oh, a one then."  
  
"Is it someone near or far?"  
  
"Someone near. Someone very near to my heart, Anthy" I held her hand that was already holding mine and looked deeply into her eyes. She had to know. She just had to know!  
  
"Is it me?"  
  
"Yes. Yes, it is Anthy. I...I care about you very much and I was wondering if you ca..."  
  
"Of course I do, Miss Utena."  
  
"No! Anthy, I want YOUR answer. Not just because I say so. The truth."  
  
"But I shall only repeat myself."  
  
"Really, Anthy. Thank you. Thank you for caring about me."  
  
One admittance down and one to go. I cared for her, and she for me, but did Anthy Himemiya love me? Could she love? Or would she just think of me just like all the others? Trying so to make her mine, both physically as the Rose Bride and in her heart. Just like Saionji. Would she no longer hold her pride in me as being a noble Victor? Would she assume that I was just like the others? Wanting her? Loving her? Raping her? NO! Never, my Anthy! Never would I place harm upon your fragile body. Skin, dark brown terra cotta, smooth as the softest silk spun by angels. Radiant eyes, glimmering sweet Neptune crystals of the sea. Soft lips that form the brightest smile in the world. Long flowing violet ribbons of hair down her slim back. Oh, Anthy I...I...  
  
"I'm glad that you are the Victor of the duel. I'm glad that you have freed me from the hold of Saionji. You sometimes make me feel like I'm not even the Rose Bride anymore. Like...like I'm a princess and you're my..."  
  
"Prince. You really feel that I am your prince?"  
  
"Yes, Miss Utena."  
  
"All my life I have aspired to that very goal: to become a loyal prince. To be the savior, not the saved. And now, after all of this. After winning the first duel. After being successful every time after that. After losing you and then winning you back. And now, being with here, tonight, under the moonlight streaming through the window, I once again want to be the prince. To take my princess into my arms, to hold her, and love her. Watashi no hime. Hime...himemiya."  
  
"Miss Utena, what are you saying?"  
  
I took her hand and kissed it.  
  
"You, Himemiya. My princess."  
  
She smiled sweetly and stared into my eyes. I felt her deep pools of green aqua pouring into my troubled oceans of blue. She kneeled towards me leaning in towards my face.  
  
"Does that mean, Utena, that you...love me?" she giggled and loving rubbed her cheek against mine.  
  
"Yes, Anthy, it does."  
  
She tilted her neck and kissed my lips. The soft skin of hers on mine. Her lips were slightly parted, watching, waiting. Wondering if I would perhaps slip in between them. Oh how I wanted to. But I just wasn't strong enough. Anthy backed away from our kiss.  
  
"It's not very comfortable to sit in the floor right now."  
  
She stood and sat over on the edge of her bed.  
  
"Come sit next to me, Utena."  
  
I followed her, still wondering how she felt. Still wondering if she really wanted to be with me. Her thin fingers combed through my hair and smoothed across my shoulder and down my arm and down to my hand. Her finger intertwined with mine, and she slid her arm around my waste. Slowly she eased me down onto my back.  
  
"Anthy...but..."  
  
"Just trust me Utena" she whispered as she once more tested my feelings. Her lips caressed mine and once more sat parted ever so slightly. This time I was sure to prove my feelings true, and I quickly slipped my tongue in between her sweet lips. Her mouth seemed to smile as she joined me. We laid there embraced in kisses of passion. My Bride, my Princess sprawled helplessly over her Victor, over her prince.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"You never said it. Time went on, but you didn't. Tell me, tell me. Tell, me what you feel." 


	2. Never Say Never

"Never say never..."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
That morning as I woke, sweet smells of breakfast dancing in through my nostrils. Not thinking, I turned to my side hoping to clasp my beautiful maiden into my loving arms. Nothing.  
  
"Himemiya?"  
  
"Yes, Miss Utena? Oh, good morning." she replied as she stuck her head out from the small kitchen.  
  
"Oh, nothing Anthy. What time is it?"  
  
"It's 7 o'clock, Miss Utena. Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Of course I did. You were there with me."  
  
"Of course, Miss Utena," she smiled that glass smile and slipped away into the kitchen once more.  
  
What had happened? Had she forgotten? Nothing. Nothing but a blank smile and a "yes, Miss Utena." Had she really forgotten everything that happened last night? Or was last night just an act for her? And I alone here once more. A fool in the games of a mysterious manipulator! Playing with my thoughts! My soul! My dreams and my aspirations! How could you?! I hate you!  
  
"I've freshly squeezed some orange juice and toasted some bread. I've made you an omelet with some salmon and asparagus that was left over. I know you like that."  
  
"So it's just that easy. Make me breakfast and it all goes away!"  
  
"I'm sorry Miss Utena, but what do you mean?"  
  
"Nothing! Just...nothing," I spouted out while I held back the tears welling up inside of me. I couldn't hate her. I loved her far too much. And last night...last night I was almost sure she loved me too. Almost.  
  
'Does that mean, Utena, that you...love me?'  
  
'Yes, Anthy, it does.'  
  
She never said it! She never said one word of it. Only pulled me here to where I have awoken from this spot on her bed. Kissed me! Toyed with my heartstrings! Nothing more! Maybe Saionji and Touga were right. Himemiya, you have no soul.  
  
She smiled sweetly from across the table.  
  
"What do you think? Tasty?"  
  
"Why don't you tell me how you feel? How YOU as a person, not a Rose Bride, really feel."  
  
"Why I...I am very glad to be here with you, Miss Utena. That is why I cheer for you. Want you to win the duel."  
  
"Nothing more?"  
  
"Why what do you mean, Miss Ute..."  
  
I stormed out of the room and into the bathroom. Slipping on my uniform, tears poured down my cheeks. They burned through my skin and into my soul. Dressed, I marched out of the door, to where...God does not even know, and neither do I.  
  
***  
  
Time moved quickly that day. I strolled through the park and through the school buildings, past the theatre, down the stares, across the small footbridge...never growing weary. Never thinking about Anthy Himemiya. Never thinking about last night, or the way she kissed me, or they way I confessed my love to her, or the way I waited for an Eternity for her to repeat such words to me. My footing staggered, I could no longer hold myself up from the force of pain and gravity on me body. I was weak. Weaker than ever. What could have made me believe I could have ever been a prince? Never could I be a prince. Never. Especially if I had no princess. Slowly, I began to fall from my stance. Slipping away from my spot here. Not caring where I went or what happened to me. Then two arms rushed about my body. My waist incased in the stranger's protection. But so familiar was the stranger's arms. But without my strength, I could not bare to turn around.  
  
"Miss Utena! Are you alright? I've been looking for you since you left, but you ran so fast. It's far to hot outside for you to take such a long walk. You must feel terrible! Oh, I do hope you don't have heat stroke."  
  
"Anthy?" I squinted my eyes and pieced out her face from the bright lighting of the sun. She pulled me up and slipped my arm over her shoulder. And with that she returned me to our room. She laid me down on the bed and opened my uniform jacket and then opened the window. A fan, she plugged into the wall and set it up next to me. My eyes began to close and sleep almost became me. But in a few seconds it seemed, Himemiya was back with a cup full of shaved ice.  
  
"Miss Utena! Don't pass out. Please have some shaved ice. And after that, maybe some water."  
  
She rushed about in panic for me making sure that I would be fine. What was it about her that made her do this? She's never done this before. Except when I first came into this dorm and she was cleaning up the room. All I can do is chuckle inside at the mere memory of that. At least I know she cares. At the very least I know that much.  
  
However, now I was alone. Again, I was alone without anything to love me. All that was there was my prince, my Dios up there in the sky watching down on me from Eternity. Wherever he was, I know he was there. Even though Anthy was around me all of the time, I still felt a bit isolated from her. From the feeling I only wished she had. And then when she went out on Saturday nights to visit her brother...her brother. He was a very kind man with a smile paralleling his sister's. Both of them had a smile that could shake you from the very ground you walked on. It could make you horrified and scream and run for cover from your past. Anthy's was glass, but Akio's...Akio's...was like a burning candle in the wind. Or was that me?  
  
That was one of our last days in our dorm before we moved in with Akio into the planetarium and the chairman's quarters. Anthy and I were even closer now as we slept. Face to face with my Bride. But now things seemed interrupted. Something was wrong. She was getting closer to me, but always she was hiding something. Something that was there the whole time; something she could not let surface.  
  
She was not the only one; however, to get closer to me. There was also Akio. He was there at every wrong turn it seemed. At that fire in Wakaba's dorm, when the teachers were once again lecturing me about my choice of wardrobe, and even when I sprained my ankle...he drove me straight to the hospital...in that car.  
  
And even after Nanami came and went, Akio was still there with me...I mean, us, with that car. And for every step closer I came to Akio, I seemed to step one step back from Anthy. And deep inside I could tell there was something wrong, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I began to question everything. Anthy, my feelings, my dream. 'Was it really such a good idea?' I mean, I wanted-no-I aspired to becoming a brave and noble prince. That was my destiny, but somewhere deep inside, I always felt this small longing. A longing to be a Princess. To be rescued and taken care of, without a care in the world. But was that what I wanted now? Is that what I wanted with Akio? What did I want? What was I? Who is Utena Tenjou?!!  
  
"Miss Utena, could you do me a favor and deliver these roses to my brother?"  
  
"Why, of course, Anthy. No trouble at all. These are very beautiful roses I might add."  
  
And that's when it started...the first time I...I...  
  
I'm ashamed. Not a word I uttered in the car ride back. Not a word. All I could think about was what I had done. Nobility shattered into a thousand shards of broken crystal. My heart-a confused and twisted kaleidoscope of ideals swirling about-so very lost. What could I do but sit there in that car just as I had laid there in that bed and think. Think of nothingness. Think of shame. Think of the things that still tied me back to my normal self. So many strings were cut by Akio; so many strings. But I was still sustained by one lost string.  
  
"I'll have to make my lunch in the morning. Let's see...there's some salmon and some asparagus...an omelet. But we left those things out all night. I hope their still good."  
  
One thing left to tie me to the prince I once was, to the prince I aspired to be.  
  
"Usually we make lunch from last night's leftovers. There's always enough for Anthy and me."  
  
The only thing to bring me back. The only thing to surface through my brain after such a night.  
  
Himemiya...  
  
...tell me...  
  
...what is eternity...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Things never turn out as they are planned..." 


	3. Muddy Puddle of Rain

"...but what more is there to do but to sit in that muddy puddle of life after the rain has finally let up?"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Quiet. That's how everything always is. Nothing but darkness and quiet. Surrounded by the things he lets he feel. Nothing but a world of fragrant bars and hooks to keep me locked away. A prison of Roses. At one time, I do remember, being an equal to my peers-to the world. Living a life somewhat normal. But then...  
  
Now it's different know. Everything has changed. A whole world that revolves around MY existence. Around MY hidden power. And the funny thing is, I am the most dead and powerless being on this entire campus. Just a bird, wanting to be loved, wanting to be cared for. Being tossed around from master to master looking for a perfect fit. But that perfect fit would mean my perfect happiness. And that is not allowed for someone like me. No, never. He must alter and twist my world to assure that I do not find happiness other than with him. If so, I could go astray. And that little bird, he cannot loose. That little singing nightingale cannot fly away, for he shall perish it is sure.  
  
So for me, happiness has become a guilty pleasure. Something taboo and mysterious.  
  
I remember when Juri was my master. She had successfully defeated the first Victor, Touga Kiryuu. Arisugawa-the most reclusive and aloof student on the campus. She treated me, well, I was there...that was all. She ignored me most of the day and always ordered me to go and "be" somewhere else. But when we were in her room sometimes she'd just break away into tears and hold that locket. That was when things changed. She wanted me there. She talked with me and told me everything, knowing I could tell no one. I was her only release and she came to respect me. But then, one night after hearing from someone about her Shiori, she lost it. Juri was blinded in a rage so great. I do not know what news about Shiori she was given, but it couldn't have been good. Juri pushed me about the room and slapped me once. She then caught herself and apologized and sat me on the bed.  
  
'I'm sorry. It's just that I ... I wish Shiori would reciprocate my feelings. Would...love me. No one... no one understands, Shiori. No one.'  
  
And upon calling me by that of her love, something in her mind slipped away. Something that held the stoic beauty together. And in the moment, she saw me as that love she missed. Coming closer and kissing me. Doing all of the things she wished to do to Shiori...but to me. Briefly after all of that, she lost the duel to Touga. Upon reclaiming his rusty crown, he seemed to treat his time with me as a prolonged date. Giving me flowers and candies and a doll. A small stuffed toy, blue and pink. A mouse or a monkey of sorts. And in the same magic used-where the dead walk as living phantoms and power immerses from the recesses of a tortured soul-brought me my Chu Chu.  
  
That is why Saionji hated him so. He saw a little bit of Touga in him ever time Chu Chu was near. Even though, I usually forget the true origin of my only friend, Touga still was the one to give him to me in the first place...I doubt he even remembers.  
  
Eventually, my guilty pleasure arose in the newest duelist and Victor. Utena. Everything was becoming more and more perfect. I was finally happy. Finally with a prince of reality. But then, he had to change everything. To force me to forget about the night she told me her feelings. To bring us to his chambers. To continue those rendez vous in the planetarium, even after I began to protest. To change Utena, and play with her tortured heart. Her only weakness was her vibrating heartstrings that, once started, could not cease to play. Even the other student council members were being used. Are being being used! Saionji-plagued with the competition of his only friend- feeling more and more inferior as time goes on. I never blamed him for the things he did to me. I understood him. But they used it all against him. Juri-trapped in a downward spiral of unrequited love. Wanting the only thing she couldn't have. But they twisted her problems by throwing Ruka in and pulling at her morals and her already unstable life. Miki-connected to his sister in a complex that would not go away. Obsessed with the beauty his sister once possessed, the purity of their relationship that he could never get back. But they threw her back at him in a plot to make him want that "shining thing" even more. And Nanami-in love with the only man she cannot have. Her very own brother. Wanting only the ties between them to be sacred and pure. For him to love her because of his own true feelings and not to be like me. Holding him there by giving herself away. Both of them: brother and Touga. Using Utena! Using Saionji! Using Juri! Using Miki! Using Nanami! AND USING ME!  
  
I cried out in my sleep. Utena crawled over to me on our double bed and woke me from my tortured thoughts.  
  
"Anthy! Are you alright? You cried out, 'stop using me!' What does that mean?"  
  
Oh, how I wanted to tell her. But I couldn't. Just to tell her everything, to free myself from this cage. Nanami was right, not wanting to be like me. I was nothing now for letting him do as he pleased and now he controlled me. Just a shell to do Akio's bidding.  
  
"Miss Utena, you see, it's just that..."  
  
"Yes, Anthy?"  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
She frowned a bit, her eyes fixated and concerned. Still my head laid on her lap as she smoothed her fingers through my hair. Could it be true? Was there still some of her real self there? Undaunted by the will of my brother. Oh, Utena! Love me like you said you did! Be the prince that you said you were! Forget about the temptation that the devil has set before you! I too have been tricked by the unholy pomegranates of his world. He's nothing but a mere shadow! An illusion-a phantom of a true and caring prince that was lost long ago. But Utena, that prince is gone. And the only ones left are corrupted by the evils of living. Even though it may seem that you to have been corrupted, look into your heart...is that pure and noble dream still there? That is what cures you and fires you forward. Become the prince to replace all others. Don't question yourself. Whether I be the princess or not...it IS a good idea!  
  
"Utena!"  
  
"Anthy?"  
  
"I...I ...nevermind."  
  
The dark and grinning eyes of my brother were burnt into my mind. I loved him somewhere in my heart, but only the way he once was. This new and cruel hybrid we call Akio is different, but something inside me thinks that he will return to the way he once was if I continue my manner this way. It's crazy, I know. But something inside of me cannot let go of the loss. I want so much to be able to move on. But I feel just as much, that deep loss of my brother. And I do not even understand myself sometimes, but at some moments, I even grow jealous of Utena for the attention she has gained from my brother. But when it all comes down to it, I needed to move on and stop this game of mourning. I found my prince. My Utena. But now, all that was left to do was to get over myself and try to make Utena see what I see. But how...to tell her? To tell her everything? Was that really such a good idea? Was I able to? What would Akio do if he found out? Would it matter? I could not seriously go on like this. It had to end somewhere. It just did.  
  
"Utena...there is something I need to tell you. Something I've been needing to tell you."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"But to understand you must listen with a clear mind, free from all the constrains that may hinder your thoughts."  
  
"Anthy? What...what's wrong?"  
  
"It's about everything...about all of this. About the duel, about the rose seal, about Akio, about me. It's about eternity..."  
  
Utena...  
  
...bring me...  
  
...to eternity....  
  
...with you...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Dig yourself out of it and wash it all off." 


	4. Don't Let Them Get You

"Don't let it get you. The pull of society is strong, but your will of nonconformity must be stronger. Don't you know that?"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
It's hard. Too go against everything that was taught to you. A girl grows up and becomes a woman. Women want to fall in love and get married.  
  
When I was little, this wasn't hard at all. I blindly followed a shadow that I couldn't see. Thinking in my mind that some noble prince had saved me. My memory skewed. And now I begin to wonder...if I had remembered that day clearly. Remembered how cruel the prince was, remembered how hurt the girl was...the true reason I wanted to become a prince...would all this have happened. Would I have been led on so easily and used by my weakness.  
  
The simple wants and insecurities of a female are weakness. They get in the way...they were the death of me.  
  
When I was young, my mission was clear. Become a prince. But just as Dios had said...I eventually became a woman. And women are all trained to sit waiting for that prince...to be a princess.  
  
And I became blind. Blind to my goal. Blind to myself. No matter how much I wanted to become a prince, they told me I shouldn't...a princess I was meant to be. Why? Why were they trying to change me? Since the day I met Dios and he showed me that girl doomed to live forever in pain...  
  
'Please! Help her!'  
  
'I can do nothing for her now. She needs a new prince to save her.'  
  
'Then I'll do it! I'll grow up and become a prince and save that girl!'  
  
'But you can't...you're a girl.'  
  
No. That's where Dios was wrong. That's where Touga was wrong. And that's where Akio was wrong. I am not a girl. And they are not princes. Maybe once before... long ago, they were princes, for other women. But those men sought to rule over princesses. They were not princes for long. Corrupt and dead to this world, but nothing more. I am the prince.  
  
'I'll become a prince and save her!'  
  
'But you can't...you're a girl.'  
  
No. That's where you were wrong.  
  
'It may seem simple now, but girls become women and women become princesses.'  
  
No. That's where you were wrong.  
  
'Just a girl.'  
  
No.  
  
'Swords are not meant for you.'  
  
No.  
  
'I think a dress suits you much better.'  
  
No, I think you're wrong.  
  
'But you can't...you're just a GIRL.'  
  
That's where you are all wrong. I am not JUST a girl. I am a revolutionary girl! I am a prince. The prince. To be 'just a girl' is weakness, but I am no girl. I am more of a prince then any of you shall ever be. I saved Anthy! Maybe not as well as I would have hoped...but I gave my life to her. And looking back, I never could have done that for any "prince." I gave my life to my bride, to my fiancé, to my princess...to eternity...  
  
But now, I am lost. Lost and alone without my princess. A prince should never be without her princess. But this new world is different. It's open and free and full of beauty. It's everything I want to share with Anthy. But where is she?  
  
Revolution...miracles, memories, something that shines, and eternity...  
  
So many versions of the same goal. But did anyone ever truly see? Did anyone ever know...that it was right under their noses?  
  
The miracle of the witch being saved from her hell, the memories deep inside of me-truly of her, the beauty of what shines between us, the thing that saved that girl from the coffin one day was a vision of her eternity, and my revolution...was her...  
  
Anthy was the miracle.  
  
Anthy was the memory.  
  
Anthy was that thing that shone.  
  
Anthy was eternity.  
  
Anthy was the revolution!  
  
But now...where is Anthy?  
  
I sit here now, the clouds slowly drifting over the streets. This new place, already inhabited? Or is it that it is now inhabited because I am here. The prince of this world. Will I become corrupt too?  
  
No. That is where I am wrong.  
  
The trees gave me shade as I sat on the cool grass. The breeze blowing my free salmon hair about. Imagining a beautiful dark skinned woman to my right, violet hair coursing down her back.  
  
But where is she?  
  
The people go on, walk by. They can't even imagine what I've done. Or what's gone on. Can it be? Can it be that this is heaven? Or is it truly that I have created this new world, filled only with the people who-like me- have died but-unlike me-could not go on. I have saved these people. I have saved them from their painful slumber. And here lies a new world. But where is it? How far is it from Ohtori? Could I ever get back? Would I want to go back? Where's Anthy? Has she stayed there? Back with Akio? Back at Ohtori! NO! Anthy! You can't!  
  
Tears slowly role down my red cheeks as I pray for my princess to come for me. Trapped here in this new world I have made. I know she can find me. She just has to! Maybe they were right...I do need a prince...but in a new form...She is miracle, memory, the thing that shines, eternity, Revolution! Therefore...she would be revolutionary...  
  
I can only hope. But what if I'm wrong about all of this. What if she did stay with Akio in Ohtori? What if she never cared or never loved or never...ANTHY!!!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Wrong again Miss Utena. I am coming for you, my prince..." 


End file.
